As a wedding photographer, I've seen first-hand how worrying and frustrating a postponement can be for engaged couples. Everything changes on a daily basis, and it can feel like uncharted waters — here are some simple tips that I hope will help you get the show back on the road.
Be Calm
It's a perfectly natural, if unproductive, reaction to panic a little. Years of carefully crafted plans, all seemingly gone up in smoke — but that's not really the case. All that work, all that research, all those difficult decisions is still solid and not wasted effort. Most, if not all, of it can be reused and recycled. Invitations and save-the-date cards are probably the only certain casualty.
Speaking of invitations, don't agonise about having to tell your guests the dates have changed. You're not alone in this — it won't be unexpected that you've had to bend to circumstances beyond your control.
Be Proactive
It's very important to take control of the situation. Get in touch with each of your vendors, starting with the hotel or venue. Don't beat around the bush — be direct.
- Find out where they stand with your current date and what their proposed alternatives are.
- Call the other vendors on your team, and find out where they stand on the alternative dates.
- Most importantly — find out where the vendors, including the venue, stand on booking deposits. If they can cover the new dates, your deposit should carry over. If they can't, ask what happens to it. Don't leave this question unasked, or unchallenged.
- Keep track of all your responses — a table with the alternative dates, marked with the availability of all vendors, works well.
You may lose some of your deposits — a lot depends on the policy of the vendors. If you're taking a hit on a deposit or two, have a think about whether you need more time to save, or whether you want to scale things back a bit.
Be Careful
Don't rush into the new date. Take your time, and don't let anyone put pressure on you. Remember how you agonised over the initial date — all those factors, big and small, before the stars aligned? The second pass at the date selection is no less important.
Have a cuppa, look over it all with a cool head, consult your table with the vendor availability, and find the date that works for everybody — including yourselves. No use picking a date that makes everyone else happy apart from you two. This is your day.
Be Smart
It's not all doom and gloom here. You can make the best of these changes and turn this into an opportunity.
Enjoy the easement of pressure — the big day is a bit further down the road. You have a second pass at the entire wedding now, a chance to make changes you felt you couldn't at this late stage: new vendors (subject to deposit policy, of course), a refreshed guest list, or even a change of season, which can make the entire planning feel fresh and exciting again.
Be Safe
A bit of a cliché, but do stay safe and keep perspective. This is "just" a date change. It might feel catastrophic, but it's really anything but. You'll be spending the rest of your long lives together — this also gives you more time to plan your diamond jubilee anniversary. Stay kind, stay zen, stay sound.
Hopefully you found this useful — please share it with anyone else who might need it. Best of luck with your changes. Keep a cool head and clean hands.
Until next time,
Stephen.